Can an emotional trauma be a cause of social anxiety disorder?
Emotional trauma can and it usually is the main cause of social anxiety disorder.
This is normal because any bad experience in life is followed by bad, insecure, angry or said feelings that can be debilitating and leave us vulnerable to disorders such as anxiety and depression.
When 22 year old James came to me he was impotent, unable to approach or talk to girls, and in order to avoid them he would stay at home as much as possible. The only place he did go to was his work place where there were no females. His life was very difficult and at times unbearable, as he would say.
James had had a 3 years long relationship and was madly in love. That was his first relationship and everything was perfect. He discovered sexuality, woman’s body, love and everything in between.
Unfortunately his girlfriend left him for another man but not before she told him that he is a very bad lover and a miserable excuse for a man. She said that he never made her happy, in and outside the bed, and that she doesn’t want to see him ever again.
This is probably one of the worst things that a woman can say to a man under these circumstances. To kill a man you don’t need to reach for a gun but the only thing you need to do is to kill his manhood. Manliness is very strong but at the same time very fragile because it has its weak point.
A man’s weak point of his manhood lies in his woman’s opinion about his manhood. A man is, and feels like, a man when he knows that he satisfies his woman. When man realizes that he had failed to satisfy his woman his manhood is in serious danger from breaking apart and that’s what had happened to James.
After the break up James entered a crisis of his manhood. He became impotent and afraid of women. He believed his ex-girlfriends words and suffered a lot.
In James’ case it is quite safe to say that his main cause of social anxiety disorder is an embarrassing experience with his ex-girlfriend. She definitely embarrassed him and caused him a great deal of pain and hardships. Of course there is a very small probability that she would have done it if she had known the consequences.
The main focus of James’ therapy was boosting his self-confidence and making him understand what had happened to him and why he suffered from social anxiety disorder. After four months of intensive psychotherapy without any medication James was much better and able to socialize with girls.
One day he just showed up in my office to tell me that he is back on the track and that he won’t need my services any more. That was a good day.
As you can see in this case the main cause of social anxiety disorder was an embarrassing event that was very destructive to a young man. This is why the power of words should never be underestimated and why they should be used prudently.
Remember that everything can be built and destroyed by words.